Johnny Depp: Renaissance man, pirate, sex god and less than adequate barber. He can even play the guitar! What a guy! No doubt he will one day get his rightful place in the pantheon next to Dante, Shakespeare and Voltaire for his services to civilization. Living with Johnny Depp attempts to put this over the top, hormonally charged ecstasy many fifteen year old girls feel on to stage. This is not a good idea, and ends up being an irritating hour long strop from a chav school girl (where have we seen this before?)
Joanne Mitchell does perform well, bounding around the stage and playing pupil, teacher and head mistress all in one. Yet much of the humour fails to rouse the audience in anyway. The plot also suffers from being almost non-existent. I seem to remember being told (by an equally desperate teacher) that every story needs a beginning, middle and end. Living with Johnny Depp has none of these - it is more like a big gooey mess of fantasies, desires and emotions.
Eventually even the head teacher begins to wander into the world of the a-sexual weirdo. In an alcohol fuelled rage she laments her situation in the ‘dark, depressed, drunk country’ that is Ireland. Johnny Depp with his diamond like bone structure, is imagined tottering around South France with his girlfriend, buying baguettes. Mildly funny, this eventually backfires and ends up becoming a tedious drunken mess.
A commendable effort from Mitchell on stage is marred by aimless writing and a rambling plot. |
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